Week 17: Darya converses with Glockner.

Darya sat on her bed, fiddling with the giant fish toy she kept on her bed as she waited for the appointment with the newest AI in the house to happen. She glanced at the clock, 17:56. Four more minutes to go.

She was nervous. Less to do with talking to a psychiatrist (she had known she probably needed to see one for years. After the incident with Altruism, she'd been assigned one at the UIG run hospital she'd stayed in, but their sessions were short, and the doctor simply had too many patients to deal with her properly), but more with what they'd discuss. She knew that she would have to talk about the root of her problems, secrets that she didn't want to think about, let alone tell others. She'd told a grand total of 4 people in the last decade, and one was dead and the other three lived under this roof. (Others had found out via their own means, but that was a different matter). The box she kept under her bed was open, and the photographs of three people were scattered over her bed. She picked up the latest one, showing a woman with thin body and a shaved head waving excitedly at the camera, electrodes attached to her head, and sighed. She should go see her soon.

18:00. It was time. She looked up, and cleared her throat.

"Dr Glockner? Are you here? It's me, Darya."

"Ja, I am here, Miss Darya." The holoscreen flickered to show the unchanging view of Glockner, adjusting his tiny round spectacles. He smiled a little, though it was hard to see through his beard, and said in a warm voice, "Zough, I am not a doctor. Just a particularly skilled AI."

The not-Doctor mimed looking around the room a little, taking in Darya holding the photographs and fish toy. His voice continued, deep and calm. "If you ever find yourself vaiting, you can summon me at any time. I am here for you, and I vas only reading." His hand moved below the edge of the screen, as he simulated holding a pen and note book. "But, before ve start Miss Darya, vhat language vould you like to speak in? I am fluent in most. And you should know, ve will only discuss what you vant to discuss. I shall do my best to listen and assist. Especially now, zat is my real purpose." He nodded to himself. "You understand? And if you feel uncomfortable, ve have no need to continue unless you wish so."

"I'd...I'd prefer Russian please." Said Darya, nervously. She glanced around the room, almost looking for some form of escape, before sighing and looking at the screen.

"I...don't know how much you know about my past..." she said, glancing at the picture in her hands. "But...I don't know." She wrapped her arms around her knees again, and sat still for a bit before looking up. "I have lots of things I want to talk about, but I can't really talk about it unless you know what happened...has Sosie told you anything?" she asked, looking almost hopeful.

Glockner reached up and pushed his little spectacles up his nose in a disarming fashion, and when he spoke, his voice was in an only slightly accented Russia. "Sosie has only told me a bare bones version of what has occurred in in your past, and a bit more on ze present conditions of your sister. I feel I am informed enough to understand what you will say, and if not, I will ask for clarification. But zis is for you, so it's only important for me to understand if you think it is. I am quite capable of grasping the situation without too much help." And here he smiled, little speech delivered.

"I...see." said Darya, looking down. She was quiet for a moment, before looking up again. "Glockner...if I'm honest...I don't like being an agent." After finishing the sentence, she once again seemed very interested in her feet, but she spoke again soon enough. "I never had. Agents are...violent, and dangerous, and nasty, and I don't like them. I don't like the world we live in. I hate EI, I hate the Western Fed, I hate Ai Jinn, I hate Shi Yukioh, I hate Comoros and I hate most of the others too." Her voice was raised, venom-filled. "I don't like what I have to do to survive. I don't like what I have to do to keep my sister alive. I...I've killed people, and I watch my co-workers, my housemates, my friends kill people often. Hell, the reason I moved in here in the first place is that Sosie leveled a tower block and I wanted to keep an eye on her...though I think she's changed now..." she tailed off. "Pinkie, Ida, Han...I want to trust them. I like them. But I see what they do to people, and I don't like it."

Glockner nodded silently, and gave Darya a soft look before pushing his glasses back up his nose. His voice was gentle.. "Ah, that must be very hard for you." His sympathy sounded genuine. "To be surrounded by people you know do not share your same values.. very tough. Especially around such black and vhite issues, like murder. It is the agent's burden, yes. You would not be the first to have such troubles."

There was a pause as he left his words sink in for a moment. "There is an obviously solution, Darya, though it perhaps is not viable. I am sure you considered.. no longer being an agent?"

"I've...I've thought about it..." said Darya, rubbing her eyes. "I considered quitting after I got the funds for sis' operation...but..." she looked up. "I...I won't be able to do anything, if I wasn't an agent. It...it lets me at least try to help people. At least try to defend them. I...I don't know what I could do...and there's stuff I have to do. I have to stop Altruism, and anyone else like it...I want to...I want to...I want to..."

She stopped talking.