Week 69: Sub-Orbital Nuke

As the shuttle took off from Europa, the rings of Saturn were just rising above the horizon. And even from this distance Fenris could make out the vast bulk of the World View, a glistening light backed by the magnificent sight of the planet. As she turned back towards the hulking Nuke next to her, she let out a sigh of contentment and sank further into her chair. "So. How the hell did you end up meeting that Mikhail guy, anyway?"

"Private party on the Worldview. He was hosting an improv, jazz event. He liked me so much he invited me to his private island on--well, you saw it--it's like that all the time. The EI do it BIG, yanno?" He also leaned back, a drink his his hand. He was going to meet up with Silvia on the worldview, and now it was just him and Fenrir and the night. Or.. day? He wasn't sure. He had been up for a long time. He didn't care.

He drank a frosty thick drink, some type of fancy milk shake that smelled of spice and conana and booze. "Nice guy, I liked him."

At that, Fenris burst out laughing. The image of the metalhead nuke playing jazz was a bit much. "Hahahaha! Really? Jazz? You?" After a little while she seemed to calm down, wiping tears from her eyes. "Sorry, but I can't see you playing jazz... Or anything besides metal really."

Hugo grinned back in response, shaking his head. "Hey, I was okay! ..Kind of.. Mostly I just listened. It was so technically impressive, they were doing shit I never would have expected. Mikhail likes that. Flexibility, improv... And I made them laugh a lot." Hugo's grin went wider, happier, and he took another long sip of his drink.

Fenris eyed Hugo's drink for a while, before nodding to herself and sending the Sir Helpsalot to go and get her one. "Well, if your that good you should show us some time!" She was only half serious, not wanting to force him into anything, but then she swiftly changed the subject. "What are you and Silvia doing when we get back to earth? I've got a new house in Hamburg if you're interested."

"Oh, you've seen be be funny plenty of times. It's nothing new." He drank a little more, grinning, feeling calm... Until the mention of Silvia. A weird, guilty look passed over his face and he shrugged. "Oh, I don't know.. I bought a house in Jerusalem and she likes it there. Maybe we'll go back there for a while? It.. it depends."

After a long pause where Hugo drank a fair portion of his drink, he said in a softer, questioning voice... "Is it normal for people to be.. like.. exclusive without discussing it?" While he spoke he rested his hand on Una's shimmery iridescent shell.

There was a long pause. Hugo's question had caught Fenris by surprise, and she was very careful when she gave her response. "Umm. It depends entirely on the people, some people just know, and others just don't care, some do need to talk though." She sighed. "Though I don't know what it's like in the Shi Yukiro, I mean they're all honor and duty, but Silvia isn't with them anymore. I really don't know what she will expect." There was another pause before Fenris was able to ask her own question, and she was very tentative when she did so. "Are... You.. Seeing someone else?"

"I don't.. I mean.. I'm fucking other people. But it's not like Silvia doesn't KNOW that. I mean, there is Alessandro, I told her about him twice, and I've been with other people off and on. And there's Una, too, right? So..." He shrugged, relaxed cool gone as he stuttered through his words. He looked at his mostly finished drink, unable to look at the beauty of space or meet Fenris' face. "Fuck, Fenrir. I don't know. We didn't even agree we were dating, just that we're not not dating. But..."

He finally looked at her, his face confused and concerned. "I went to Mikhail's party with Coraline. And it was nice, real nice. We make a good team, and it was fun. And then we kissed on the boat ride back..." He seemed a little guilty, brows furrowing. "But she said she talked to Silvia, and... Silvia said we were exclusive. Or wanted to be. Or.. something. But SHE isn't seeing anyone else. And turned Coraline down. So..."

For a moment, Fenris seemed a bit concerned. "Wait. Coraline? Again? Hmm." But then she shrugged and seemed to dismiss it. The Helpsalot returned with her drink, and Fenris took a deep drought. Using the time to consider the situation. When she spoke again she was trying to be as reassuring as possible. "Maybe Silvia was using you to let her down gently, trying not to hurt her... She definitely knows about Alessandro right?"

"That's what Coraline thought. And.. me too kind of. But still kind of a dic... not nice move from Silvia. I mean, why not just say that she's not into... ..whatever Coraline is? I mean, she'd cybed up like crazy, I'm sure she could have whatever she was into, I bet she could easily get a dic... ..Whatever." Hugo shrugged it off, lost in other thoughts and conana spice milkshakes. He sighed deeply.

"And I mean.. Yeah, she knows. It's not like it's a secret. we talked about it.. we talked about it again, er, that night, but she said she watched the video." He shrugged with a shoulder. "We never talked about it, but why would we? We never talked about us either, but she said she made decisions... ..No, it has to be her just trying to turn Coraline down. I wish she would have talked to me and Una about it first, though." He gave his gun another stroke, looking down at her.

She smiled and looked at her friend with a touch of pity in her eyes. "You're worrying over nothing!" She leaned back into the chair, putting her feet up as Saturn came into view through the window. "If she's fine with Una, and with Alessandro, why is she going to be bothered about Coraline?"

"I'm not worried about her being bothered by Coraline. I'm worried that she.. that she said it. Withing telling me." He frowned. He looked up at the ceiling, sighing again. When he looked back at Fenris, he seemed down. "I mean, you just don't say you're dating someone exclusively without talking about it, right? So.. weird."

"Only when it's obvious, but that barely ever happens." She sighed, before carefully continuing. "Look Hugo. We both know Silvia... Isn't the best when it comes to... People. She was probably trying not to hurt Coraline, and saw that as the best option. It's not like she would expect anything from you."

"Yeah.. Yeah, you're right. I just.. ..No, you're right. I wish this was just easier, you know? I've never tried anything long term with someone who wasn't a nuke." Hugo gave an explanatory and slightly abashed shrug. He finished his drink, and the ordered the next milkshake down on the pleasure ferry's list.

Fenris frowned. "Does that matter? I mean she... gets Una. Surely that's the only difference?" There was still a hint of bitterness in her voice when Fenris was talking about Nukes and their damn weapons.

Hugo ignored the bitterness, and shrugged. "I dunno. I thought maybe... but nukes have one big commitment, and that's.. Maybe not just to one gun, but to being a nuke. All other nukes know this. It's part of what makes us us. We just.. understand how important it is. And nukes always get involved with human people, because most of us like sex and human companionship with humans. But you hear horror stories about people who didn't understand the basic concept messing with a gun..." The massive agent's face darkened, and he continued quietly, voice getting more acidic. "Or worse. Even if you thought it was just a gun, why would you hurt someone like that? But non-nukes think it's funny that someone could be so upset over a gun. Hell, they just used it as a gag on Agent Buddies two weeks ago. A nuke would never do that to another nuke. And maybe we.. take for granted that non-nukes understand that about us. That they understand how much it means..."

He looked down at Una, and the bitterness drained from his voice. He grew more tender. "My dad always hoped it was a phase. I can barely remember a time where I didn't like heavy weapons. And he was still praying I'd give it up and bring someone home. When I came out of the closet and told him, he was... ..It's not like it was a shock, but he tried so hard to be supportive.. It's the only time I can think of where I've let him down." He left his huge hand resting in Una's muzzle, a world away. "But I've always been this way. You can't help who you fall in love with, even if it doesn't make sense. I'm lucky, I was too big to get a lot of shit for it, but you get made fun of all the time, you're a punch line... Even in the EI, where we're most accepted... It's in holomedia, people who are your friends act like you're some insane deviant, like your emotions about it matter less because they don't get it... But nukes get it. Even when they don't do it the same way, they get it. They know how hard it is to juggle human relationships and guns and people thinking you're delusional... That's why nukes date other nukes. You don't get treated like shit because you're different." Hugo looked back up at Fenris, his gaze distant. He didn't seem to mind he was ranting so much to her, that he was talking so much.. he felt comfortable and Fenris could easily get the impression he didn't talk about it much and thought about it often.

When Hugo mentioned the "horror stories" of people messing with nukes Fenris started to look decidedly guilty. She was quiet and a little withdrawn as Hugo continued his speech. After a while she managed to speak up, but her voice was small, and she was a little worried she might say the wrong thing. "It's not necessarily so one sided. It can be difficult for us non-nukes too." She sighed. "I mean, imagine if you really cared for someone, but they had this car. It's a really nice car, but still just a car." As she spoke the bitterness was beginning to creep back into her voice. "And they're obsessed with it, to the point where you know that no matter what you do, that car will always mean more to them than you do. And to make matters worse, they expect you to feel the same way, and if you don't revere the bloody thing then they get offended, like you've just punched their kid or something." Fenris then seemed to catch her self. "Just be aware than Silvia might not feel the same way about Una... Be understanding, OK?"

Hugo have Fenris a look for a moment, face serious, and then nodded. "Most nukes don't want other people to love their guns like they do. ...Not just because they would be jealous, but non-nukes don't go that way. Like, you wouldn't expect a nuke to forget about guns, so why expect a non-nuke to care, you know? Sounds like an EI problem." He smiled then, taking his drink from the Helpalot and giving it a taste. It was pale pink. "Mm. I don't expect Silvia to love Una, but it would be... nice... if she saw her as more than a gun. And I think that she at least knows how much Una means to me, now. But I'm not an asshole. I know how people see us and I know how to be nice." It was obvious he meant us as nukes, and he took another deep draught of his milkshake.

Fenris looked thoughtful as she tried to figure out what merited that response. "Oh! I didn't mean to imply... Sorry." She was staring out the window to avoid meeting Hugo's gaze, blushing ever so slightly.

"I dunno what happened to you, but calm your face. It's fine. Don't worry. But I've gotten the 'humans aren't guns' speech like ten times. We know, okay? We.. we know." He laughed a little, giving Fenris a playful nudge that was enough to rock her whole body. "Everything's fine, you know? As long as Silvia doesn't think we're married but hasn't told me."