Week 92, Message to all Oracle Agents

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Week 92, Message to all Oracle Agents

Post  Rita Positron on Fri May 15, 2015 11:11 pm

Hello All,

My name is Rita Positron and I am CEO of a company called Eroz*1. In the past my company has been responsible for making a number of interesting pieces of equipment*2 for Oracle agents and I see no reason to not continue that relationship.

If you have need of any*3 unusal technology feel free to give us a call. We have all the nanotech you can eat*4, biotech in spades, tiny dragons*5, boxes full of psychic hate*6, xenotech*7, cryo-weapons and living BIOguns that have souls*8 and can kill gods!!*9.

And if you ever find yourself on the moon feel free to drop by and see us in person any time*10. Also, use the discount code ORACLE when ordering to get a free -50% anti-voucher*10.

Yours
Rita Positron
Eroz CEO
Lunaversity protoArchchancellor*12

*1; This message has been vetted by the Eroz legal department.
*2; Eroz denies having created anything illegal for Oracle agents.
*3; Legal reiterates, anything not banned by the UIG.
*4; Please do not eat the nanotech.
*5; Said tiny dragons are BIOs and as such are not earth legal.
*6; THIS STATEMENT IS HYPEBOLE. Eroz denies having created illegal subspace manipulation devices.
*7; Relevant xenotech licenses required.
*8; Living weapons not yet on the open market due to complicated legal status. Evidence showing that they may have a soul is anecdotal only.
*9; Definitions of both 'kill' and 'gods' open to debate*13. Only anecdotal evidence for their use in this manner.
*10; Please give advance warning of your arrival.
*11; Anti-discount completely optional.
*12; This title subject to change.
*13; Current definition of God used in this context; Non-physical entity of unusal power that is worhipped by one hundred or more sapient beings.
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Rita Positron

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Join date : 2015-04-16

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