Week 92, Message to all Oracle Agents

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Week 92, Message to all Oracle Agents

Post  Rita Positron on Fri May 15, 2015 11:11 pm

Hello All,

My name is Rita Positron and I am CEO of a company called Eroz*1. In the past my company has been responsible for making a number of interesting pieces of equipment*2 for Oracle agents and I see no reason to not continue that relationship.

If you have need of any*3 unusal technology feel free to give us a call. We have all the nanotech you can eat*4, biotech in spades, tiny dragons*5, boxes full of psychic hate*6, xenotech*7, cryo-weapons and living BIOguns that have souls*8 and can kill gods!!*9.

And if you ever find yourself on the moon feel free to drop by and see us in person any time*10. Also, use the discount code ORACLE when ordering to get a free -50% anti-voucher*10.

Yours
Rita Positron
Eroz CEO
Lunaversity protoArchchancellor*12

*1; This message has been vetted by the Eroz legal department.
*2; Eroz denies having created anything illegal for Oracle agents.
*3; Legal reiterates, anything not banned by the UIG.
*4; Please do not eat the nanotech.
*5; Said tiny dragons are BIOs and as such are not earth legal.
*6; THIS STATEMENT IS HYPEBOLE. Eroz denies having created illegal subspace manipulation devices.
*7; Relevant xenotech licenses required.
*8; Living weapons not yet on the open market due to complicated legal status. Evidence showing that they may have a soul is anecdotal only.
*9; Definitions of both 'kill' and 'gods' open to debate*13. Only anecdotal evidence for their use in this manner.
*10; Please give advance warning of your arrival.
*11; Anti-discount completely optional.
*12; This title subject to change.
*13; Current definition of God used in this context; Non-physical entity of unusal power that is worhipped by one hundred or more sapient beings.
avatar
Rita Positron

Posts : 27
Join date : 2015-04-16

View user profile

Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum